20 Interesting Facts About This Weird Being (Part 2 of 4)

Posted on Posted in Random Inspiration

I consider myself a very unusual human being, annoying and difficult to figure out a times but sweet most times. These are TWENTY “interesting” facts about me (numbers 6 to 10). Enjoy.

6. Low ATL. If you are ever in a game show and asked to invite a friend to take bottles of alcohol beverage on your behalf, the more bottles (s)he takes, the more money you make and I am your only friend, don’t bother calling me. You will loose the money. I take alcohol but my ATL (alcohol tolerance level) is way too low for a mature man like me. A bottle of common STAR gets me tipsy, two bottles I am high, three bottles I literally believe I can fly, four bottles, I am dancing naked on the damn table. Let’s just say alcohol and I are not good friends.

7. I have big feet. There is nothing more frustrating about being “long” as my friends would describe me as not being able to find my shoe size in the market. Schooling abroad, I wasn’t fazed with the problem of shoe size because UK shops stock big shoes (sizes 46, 47 and even 48). Coming back to Nigeria is a whole different story all together. “Aba” boys that make or import shoes definitely don’t have tall people like me in mind and therefore, I have to “manage” shoes not my size if I have to wear shoes at all. You go to the market, test shoes, it fits and you buy. You take it home, you wear them and they feel like hell. I literally give out half of the shoes I buy. It’s annoying.

8. I don’t shave. Funniest or should I say weirdest thing about me is that like Samson, I have never shaved hair off my body before. Ever. Asides my beards and the hair on my head. No hair on my body has ever been touched. Yes, armpit, chest and pubic hair inclusive. It’s shocking but it’s the honest truth. They seem to naturally fall off keeping me so fresh and so clean. Doubt? You can come and find out for yourself..lol.

9. The female body. I was about 13 years old when I stumbled upon my mum’s copy of “Every Woman”. A book that extensively teaches about a woman’s body both externally and internally. I read it twice over and my knowledge of the female body is uncanny for a man. When I tell girls about their labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, hymen (for those that still have theirs intact) and fallopian tubes, they look at me funny.

10. I don’t do burials. I consider myself a very emotional being and often find myself empathizing with people. Attending a wedding and empathizing with people’s joy, pleasure and love is one thing but attending a burial and crying or feeling sad for someone recently bereaved is too much of an emotional drain. I send my condolences and stay away from the burial ceremony proper. How medical examiner’s perform autopsy’s on dead bodies is behold me. What courage!!!!

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