Media personality, Ariyike Akinbobola shared this message this morning and it inspired me, read below:
“When I was in Law school about 11 years ago, One morning as I was getting ready to go to school, my mum’s driver came to me and said my neighbour’s driver had reversed into my car. I was LIVID! I was MAD! My Tokunbo smallie Honda that I was still flexing around had been BASHED. I was ANGRY! But my Mum told me to calm down and not get angry, she said I should go outside, see how damaged the car was and that I shouldn’t shout at the guy. I walked outside and saw that the front door on the Passenger’s side had been badly dented, it was Bad! It would have to be panel bested and sprayed! It would cost money!
But I didn’t loose my cool. In a very calm voice, I asked the question most would have asked “So what are we going to do now?” and his response was “I will fix it ma”. I looked at him and said “It’s okay, I will sort it out”. He was weak, he went flat on the floor to prostrate. Hausa man, over 6ft tall, probably about 15 years older than me. I was in shock! I immediately told him to get up. I ended up fixing my car by myself. Fast forward to many years later, the guy who hit my car, a former driver has set up an oil and gas company.
He now has diesel trucks and he supplies most houses diesel in the Lekki axis. At the last major Charity event I organized at Muri Okunola Park in V.I (Victoria Island in Lagos, Nigeria), he gave us free diesel and he has told me that if I’m organizing any event, he will supply free diesel. We now buy diesel from him. Imagine if I had insulted him simply because he hit my car back then?”
Remember that all we do today, ALL, we do today are seeds that we will be harvest tomorrow. It’s LIFE.
When next you are faced with a situation that would make even an angel flare up, provoke, rain insults or react explosively, remember the word “Empathy” which is the ‘divine’ ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes.
To start using empathy more effectively, consider the following:
1. Put aside.
Put aside your viewpoint, and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
When you do this, you’ll realize that other people most likely aren’t being evil, unkind, stubborn, or unreasonable – they’re probably just reacting to the situation with the knowledge they have.
Validate the other person’s perspective. Once you “see” why others believe what they believe, acknowledge it. Remember: acknowledgement does not always equal agreement. You can accept that people have different opinions from your own, and that they may have good reason to hold those opinions.
Examine your attitude. Are you more concerned with getting your way, winning, or being right? Or, is your priority to find a solution, build relationships, and accept others? Without an open mind and attitude, you probably won’t have enough room for empathy.
Don’t just listen to react, listen to reason.
Listen with your ears – what is being said, and what tone is being used?
Listen with your eyes – what is the person doing with his or her body while speaking?
Listen with your instincts – do you sense that the person is not communicating something important?
Listen with your heart – what do you think the other person feels?
Ask yourself this question. “What if this person becomes somebody I need tomorrow. Would I be able to show my face without feeling ashamed of my actions today?”
Moral of Ariyike’s story: Be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody + Never look down on anyone. #Ariyikewrites #Benice #Humility #Love #Kindness #Compassion
1. Be Somebody Who Makes Everybody Feel Like Somebody on Kemi Filani’s Blog . Click HERE to read.
2. Empathy at Work: Developing Skills to Understand Other People on Mind Tools. Click HERE to read.