It’s no secret that African men tend to get married well into their 30’s with excuses like “I haven’t found the right woman” and “I want to focus on my career first before getting married” among the pyramid of excuses they give for their delay. This article looks to address the benefits of getting married to the right person on time (before 30).
1. Obtain Favour: One of the most profound passages of marriage in the Bible is in Proverbs 18:22 which reads “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord”. It is as if God was telling a man that instead of hustling, working over time, praying and fasting for money…simply get married and I will favour you. While researching the richest men in Nigeria I noticed a trend: all are married and became richer after marriage. Getting married opens a man’s to Heavenly open doors and the sooner the better.
2. A woman’s prayer: Every sensible man knows that a woman’s prayer is more important for his life than the prayers of a thousand pastors. While growing up, a boy is held by the prayers of his mother but as soon as he gets married, the baton is passed unto the new most important woman in his life: his wife. It’s a wife’s prayer that is the catalyst a man needs to move from a mere bread winner to job creator. A poor man is synonymous to a prayer less wife.
3. Helper/Advisor/Business Partner: In Genesis 2:7, God formed Adam from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breathe of life, and the man became a living being (Adam was born). In Genesis 2:15, God took Adam and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it (Adam got a job). In Genesis 2:18, God thought “it is not good for Adam to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. But instead of giving Adam a wife, God engaged Adam in more work by asking him to name the animals in Genesis 2:19. After all this, no suitable helper was found which prompted God to form his soulmate (Eve) in Genesis 2:21-23. The story shows that even with work, a man is never complete without his wife and work cannot be a substitute for a woman’s affection, love and care. A wife is a man’s number one advisor, a man’s business partner and helper.
4. A woman’s intuition: While men are born with only five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch), women on the other hand are born with six senses. The sixth sense most women have is intuition. A woman’s intuition is the most powerful force there is. Intuition is something that every woman has where she just knows when something is bad or wrong or when something is profitable. It is that gut feeling telling her something about something or somebody. It may come in the form of a dream, deja vu, a funny feeling, all three or something else. Men have intuition but women have a truck load of it. So a godly wife with intuition is a man’s insurance policy to avoid making the wrong business decisions.
5. Fight together: As powerful as the US Army is, they sort for the assistance of the British Army to execute their war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan. As powerful as the British Army was, they needed the assistance of the US Army to successfully defeat the Adolf Hitler led Nazi Germany.
As powerful as the President is, he still requires the services of the Vice President to govern a nation.
In this respect, no matter how successful a man is, he needs a woman to make an impact. A single man fights alone but a married man has the fighting prowess and weaponry of two forces. Deuteronomy 32:30 “one can chase a thousand but two chases ten thousand”.
6. Avoid fornication: One of the major downfalls of men in this modern age is sexually connected. Women have been used to bring the downfall of many budding men with sex as a major tool for this destruction. A man’s weak point has always been his libido and getting married on time makes having sex with his wife legitimate and right in the eyes of God.
7. Gain respect: Whether or not we come accept this, married people are more respected in society than their unmarried counterparts. No matter how successful a man is, marriage gives him that crown, that jewel, that anointing, that respect that single men would find hard to come by. The ring on a man’s hand distinguishes him and stand him out from the crowd (the undecided bunch of bachelors).
8. Focus: An unmarried man is not totally focused because he is yet to settle down. Today he is dating Sade, tomorrow its Nkechi he wants to marry, next month he is introduced to Aisha who his mum thinks is the best woman for him. Marriage helps a man focus on the most important thing: family. The sooner the better.
9. Family burden: One of the most annoying aspects of being an old bachelor is the “when are you getting married?” birage of questions you will receive from friends and family. A single man’s mother gets the same “when is your son getting married?” question from her friends and she inturn transfers the aggression to him. When this line of questioning fails to heed dividends, the “when will I carry my grandchild?” line of questioning is introduced.
10. Look good: I don’t know about other men but as a single man I am a pathetic dresser. Sometimes I find it hard to iron my clothes or even know where I kept my favorite pair of boxers *wink*. My sense of color combination is so poor that I have resolved to wearing only black shoes to avoid color rioting. Imagine all this chaos as a single man and then steps into my life a woman to polish my outlook. She takes care of my clothes, helps get them ready for the next day, chooses the right combination and makes sure I look good for her. Marriage just has to look good on me..lol
11. Play with your kids: I remember watching the charity football match where my mentor 40 year old David Beckham played with his 16 year old son Brooklyn Beckham. This is the beauty of getting married early so you can be strong enough to play with your children not holding a walking stick when your kids are still playing at the backyard.
There is nothing more beautiful than a father taking his daughter out on a date and strange people assuming they are dating because of how young he looks (my dream). Don’t take your daughter out and get strange people thinking you are her sugar daddy because of how old you look compared to her.
12. Retire early: One of the most priceless reasons to get married early is to retire early. A dear friend of mine was an only child for about 13 years after her parents separated. Her dad later remarried and now has two kids (aged eleven and eight). Her dad recently was retired from the Navy and should be home relaxing and sipping juice while reading his favorite newspaper while receiving his retirement pay on a monthly basis because his daughter (my friend) has finished school and marriage is on the horizon. But due to the fact that he has two children from his second marriage, he has to work to make sure he makes enough to take care of them. Getting married early means giving birth early and in turn taking care of your children early. Marry early and at 60 years, all your kids are married instead of marrying late and at 60 years, your children are still in Secondary school.
13. Generational Children: Let’s take for example, two centenarians (both over 100 years). Papa Jide got married at 25 years old and gave birth to Jennifer at 26 years old. His daughter got married when her father was 50 years old and gave birth to Ronke (Papa Jide’s grand daughter) when Papa Jide was 52 years old. Jennifer’s daughter Ronke (Papa Jide’s grand child) got married and gave birth to Asa (Papa Jide great grand daughter) when Papa Jide was 79 years old. At 103 years old, Papa Jide is expecting his great great grand child.
On the other hand, Papa Uche (the baddest business man in Onitsha before the war) got married at 45 years old because of business and gave birth to Juliet at 46 years old. Juliet gave birth to Ikechukwu (Papa Uche’s grand son) when Papa Uche was 76 years old and now that Papa Uche is 102, he is just expecting his first great grand son. Whereas Papa Jide who got married on time would see his fourth generation, Papa Uche (the baddest business man in Onitsha before the war) will be fortunate to see his third generation. PLEASE MARRY EARLY…lol
14 Youthfulness: Getting married early and giving birth on time not only gives a woman youthful looks but also gives a man a refreshing look. He sorts his children’s education on time and enjoys his latter days relaxing. Instead of hustling to put food on the table, his grownups kids are in turn taking care of him early not when he is aged and about to die.
15. Eat well: As a bachelor leaving on my own, I now appreciate my mother’s food. I am a good cook don’t get me wrong but nothing beats a woman’s meal anyday anytime. People keep getting at me with how skinny I am but I keep asking them to wait till I get married and watch how my wife’s meals would fatten me up. Just wait..lol
LAST WORD: Look at the picture above and make sure that is you holding your grand daughter not your daughter. Cheers.