1. I am pregnant for you: I was conversing with a friend who told me she wanted to end things with her boyfriend. I had a concerned look on my face because to the best of my knowledge she was very much in love with the guy. I enquired as to the reason behind her sudden “I-want-out” mantra. In her words “I told him I was pregnant and his reaction proved to me that he hasn’t been serious with me”. She continued “Imagine, the way he reacted when I told him. He ordered me to abort the baby and seemed very angry that I let myself get pregnant as if I bought the sperm that got me pregnant”. After all said and done, she wasn’t really pregnant. Her period came later than usual and she panicked without undergoing a pregnancy test. In this case, the “love test” was conducted unintentionally but in many cases, ladies have lied about pregnancy either to test their spouse’s “love” for them or to estort abortion money from their guys or in some cases of mistaken sperm (when a girl isn’t sure who the father is).
2. The child is yours: I heard this story some years back (I can’t verify its authenticity though). So the story goes thus: A father took his child who was always falling sick to the hospital. After undergoing the necessary tests, the boy’s blood type was discovered to be SS. No problem right? Not according to the father who was AA and the mother was AS. So how come they had an SS child? Biological unexplainable. After much pressure, the woman confessed to her husband that the child wasn’t actually his. Many parents all over the world are living under the lie that the child they call theirs is really theirs. But as Nigerians would say “na one day, breeze go blow and fowl yansh go open”.
3. I am not in the mood: “I am not in the mood” is the most popular sentence women use when a man tries to initiate sex with them. No woman is ever in the mood to have sex but they are always in the mood to collect money *tiff*. In the real sense, no woman is ever in the mood for sex (apart from those with heightened sexual drives or those in the mood). Most women have to be put in the mood by her man’s touches and kisses. Men and women are very different in the sense that if a man is troubled, it doesn’t affect his sex life while if a woman is troubled, sex is the last thing on her mind. She’s not in the mood could be a ploy to play hard to get. Naija girls? Tufiakwa
4. I don’t like sex: Sex is often believed to be a “guy thing” especially in Africa. Ladies are “never” to admit that they like sex or even initiate/ask for sex. It is believed that girls who ask for sex are ppromiscuous and loose. So this mentality has been imbibed by all most women to downplay their desire for sex by claiming they don’t fancy it as much as men in their heart of hearts, they enjoy am pass anything..LOL
5. I don’t have transport money: Only a few ladies ever admit having transport money if asked to come visit. I remember the story of a chic that told the guy she was visiting to prepare cab money of N6000. Instead of entering cab, she entered bus and bike, arrived close to his place, got a cab man to take her to his place for N500. She connived with the cab man, who gave her N5000 of his money (minus N500 transport and N500 his cut). The guy steps out and pays for the cab (N6000) and she pockets N5000. Naija girls are smart. BEWARE. LOL
6. I don’t have credit: But seriously speaking, do girls ever admit having credit. If 10 people flash me, 9 are girls. A girl flashes you, you call back and she requests for airtime. You send her airtime and she calls you for let’s say 45 seconds (some don’t even bother calling but send a “Thank you” SMS) to say thank you and uses the rest to call her real friends. Damn it.
7. I can cook: All Naija girls can cook according to them. No girl ever admits not knowing how to cook even if her specialty is not more than the usual boiled rice, jollof rice and indomie. Guys know better than to believe a Naija girl can cook because she said so. Guys, don’t be the Mr. Biggs eating husband. Be Wise.
8. I am more beautiful without makeup: Naija girls like to believe that they look beautiful without makeup but never post makeup less pictures on Instagram or BBM. Girls also like to believe that someway, they are more beautiful without makeup than with makeup. Read my lips, nobody looks better without makeup than with a well done makeup. It’s like saying you look better unphoto-shopped than photo-shopped.
9. I am in school: I remember vividly when the ASUU (The Academic Staff Union of Universities) of Nigeria and the Nigerian Government were engaged in a tussle for supremacy. Most Federal and State Universities were shut and students were forced to stay at home. Those 6 months plus were the brokest and most boring times for Nigerian girls. Girls that while in school could reside in their boyfriend’s house for a month, go clubbing, go partying etc where now forced to stay home under the watchful eyes of their parents. Naija girls would never tell their parents their actual location. When away from home, they claim to be in school (maybe Abia State) but in Abuja to see friends or some dude. Parents put a tracker on your girls to avoid stories that touch.LOL
10. Deceptive looks: Every girls wants to look beautiful. Every girls wants to be appreciated and loved. But when that desire turns into deception, then it’s definitely wrong. Naija girls have advanced in their quest for perfection. This desire has moved from the common makeup to bleaching to eyebrows that look different every single time you see them to pushup bras to butt lifters to butt boosters and waist training corsets. Until I take a girl swimming, I don’t believe what I see..LOL
NOTE: Vexed girls can take their revenge by reading “10 Popular Lies That Nigerian Guys Tell”. Hilarious. Enjoy