“Don’t have a boyfriend till you are either old enough or in the University” is a popular advice given to teenage girls by their parents or/and older family members. This advice is valid in a World inundated with sexual immorality and misplaced ideologies. A World where a young boy’s reasoning and conceptualization is saturated with sexual content driven adverts, movies, songs and even music videos. A World where our young girls are driven to change their natural features in a bid to be loved and accepted with the advent of bleaching and other face and body enhancing tricks that ladies use nowadays to deceive men.
The real purpose of dating has actually being defeated. A young girl goes into a relationship with financial security at the back of her mind while a young guy goes into a relationship with sexual security at the forefront of his.
So what is dating in this modern World?
1. Someone to claim as your boyfriend/girlfriend in the face of peer pressure from friends who are dating.
2. Someone to satisfy their sexual urges with.
3. Someone to love and someone to love them.
4. Someone that would alleviate their financial burdens.
5. Someone to selfishly demand from and not deposit into…..
What dating should be:
1. Someone to share present and future dreams with.
2. Someone that encourages and stands by you especially at the hard times.
3. Someone to push you to be better when you have settled for good.
4. Someone to help improve you spiritually, mentally and psychologically.
5. Someone that accompanies you into the tunnels of fear and uncertainty assuring you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel…..
Nowadays, people scarcely date someone that they ‘could’ get married to, they instead date for external pleasures and then when they have ‘enjoyed life’ and are ready to settle down, they search for the ‘someone-I-could-marry’ type and convert him/her to the ‘someone-I-will-marry’ type. This from a girl’s perspective is after having many cars of different sizes pass through her garage and from a guy’s perspective packing their cars at as many garages as possible.
I came across an article of one Fatima Sulaimon, a 22 year old first class graduate of the University of Ilorin, Kwara State, who emerged the best anatomy graduate in her graduating set. She claimed that the secret of her academic success was her boyfriend. She graduated with a Cumulative Grade Average Point of 4.80 emerging as one of the 48 first class graduates in her set. In an interview with Punch, she said; “He encouraged, inspired and assisted me to excel in my studies.” “He encouraged me. At times, even if I woke up in the night and I felt dizzy, I would just put a call across to him and after discussing with him, I would feel okay. He was more of a friend. He encouraged, inspired and assisted me.”
I made a vow with myself never to leave anyone I date the same way I met them. I (without blowing my trumpet) have helped my girlfriend and ex-girlfriends achieve feats they thought unachievable, helped them generate ideas, assisted them academically, helping them grow spiritually, aided them soar physically and mentally. I consider myself an academician who has made studying a passion. Anytime I hear from my girlfriend, before we start talking about mundane things like “what did you eat?”,”where did you go?”, “what are you doing?”, the first question I ask is “what did you do today?”, “what did you learn today?”, “what can I learn from you today?”. That’s my way of making sure she adds value to herself on a daily basis.
I strongly believe that having a boyfriend/girlfriend early is good for a teenager ONLY if they enter and maintain the right principles during the relationship. I strongly pray that one day, we will get to the stage where parents will be okay with their children dating, when parents and kids could discuss dating together without fear or apprehension, when sex or physical contact is the last thing on the mind of both dating parties, when self improvement is at the forefront of any relationship.
My question to you is “why are you dating your boyfriend/girlfriend?”, “what have you added to him/her?”. I implore you to change your perception of dating if yours is flawed.
Meaning of some words: