1. Someone adds you up on BBM and refuses to disclose where they got your pin from.
2. You add someone on BBM, they haven’t even allowed you to drink water and drop cup, they attack you with “hey, who are you and how did you get my pin?”. Very rude and lame.
3. You put a picture of you and your boo on your dp all the time. Last year, it was you and Kunle, sometime in March your boo was Obinna and now its Ahmed. You want to date the whole Nigerian tribes?
4. Someone steals your pm, doesn’t even remix it and puts it on their pm claiming intellectual ingenuity. Barawo
5. Someone that doesn’t even say hi continually steals your dp and uses it the same time with you. Your father.
6. Sending bc’s like “Jesus loves you bla bla bla, send this bc to 10 people or else you will sleep and not wake up”. You want to preach the gospel and its on your bed and via a bc, take your Bible, carry a bell and enter the streets to preach. Yeye.
7. Sending bc’s of unconfirmed news/reports like the salt and warm water drink and bath to cure a virus, yes a virus. Something must be very wrong with you.
8. Putting BBM names like sexy, phunky, spicey, young money, rich fool, itsthatfinesexybabe etc. Are you still in Secondary School? Grow up already. Gosh
9. Someone that hasn’t uttered an echo of hello to you suddenly sees a fine girl on your dp and is asking for her pin. Shege banza.
10. Someone has an argument/altercation/fight with a friend and puts it on his/her pm. Childish.
11. Someone putting this very immature pm “deleting mode, deleted 30 idle contacts, still deleting more”. If you want to delete contacts, be mature about it. Don’t belittle youself by announcing it.
12. Sending bc’s as early as 2am in the morning. Are you in the occult? or those attention seekers sending bc’s with “PING!!!”, “Sup”, “Contact check” “how was your day”, “care to chat”, “am lonely”, “who wants to hangout”. Dem swear for you from village?
13. Putting up pm’s like “if you love me, send me credit”. You are just cheap. Simple.
14. Putting adult pictures on your dp or putting pictures of yourself showing your cleavage and sexy body parts on your pm. Damn. Repent.
15. Instead of using okay or ok, you continually use k or kk. Very annoying. May God k your head. K here meaning knock.
16. You want us to feel you are important so you take pictures everywhere you go and put it on your pm. You take pictures in every car you enter. Are you a mechanic? You take pictures in every fine hotel toilet you enter. Are you a toilet cleaner? You take pictures even on the road. Are you LASTMA?
17. You don’t update your pm or dp forming ghost mode. Get whatsapp, BBM is not for you.
18. Someone pings you with nothing to say. Like “Hey”, “Sup” and becomes mute.
19. Someone reads your ping and refuses to reply. Waits for a day to reply, doesn’t apologize like nothing happened.
20. People that turn all phrases to abbreviations. You ask someone which school did you attend, and they are like ABSEY. What? If your school doesn’t start with UNI like UNILAG, UNIBEN, UNIZIK or UNIPORT, no one knows the abbreviation. Say the full thing. Others use abbreviations to make sentences like LMFAO UASF BTW IWUTC2MR which means laugh my ass off, u are so funny, by the way, I want us to chill 2mr. Speak like a normal human being pls.
21. You send someone a long ping and they reply with “lol”. When what you said isn’t funny.
22. You send someone a ping, they don’t read it yet they are changing pm and dp.
23. You take hours to reply someone without informing the person that you were busy with something. Quite rude.
24. Frequent posting of bc’s no matter how informative they might be is quite annoying.
25. You haven’t pinged someone in ages and all of a sudden they ping you and say “so you can’t ping me shey, u have forgotten me”. What happened to your hand. Shift joh.
26. Someone sends 5 PINGS and you thinking its something urgent and the person replies “just checking up on you”. Ahhhh!!!
27. Some girls known as drama queens when bored and seeking unnecessary attention will put up posts like “I need a massage, who is interested?”, “weather for two”, “I need someone loving”. Sister go to church.
28. For those that put up their food on their dps. You don’t put a picture of your food when your eating beans, egg and vegetable but when you manage to enter restaurant to eat, the World must know. I don’t blame you.
29. People that always have an opinion on what you put on your dp/pm. Comon.
30. Some people (including me) are fond of only pinging people when they change their dp/pm. Stop it.
31. Someone that hasn’t checked on you in a while suddenly pings to say “what hair is that?”, “who did your makeup?”. Really?
32. Reading pings,not replying and changing dp at the same time….it shows that you purposely did not reply.
33. You could actually trace people through their pm’s. They put everything going on in their lives there. If them dey shit, dem go put am there. Comon.
34. Some people have this habit of chatting with friends on their pm. For example, you see pm’s like “Bisi, you are so funny, I hate you” or “Shade, you made me laugh so hard today, that Alhaji was not happy with us”. Shatap.
35. Some people have the unholy habit of pinging you at odd hours of the night and asking “are you sleeping?”. Yes, its actually my angel replying you now. Taaaah!!!
36. Some guys have this habit of asking for every girl’s pin he sees on someone’s dp.
37. Some people have this annoying habit of asking the same question in different ways several times. For example, “sup”, “how are you?”, “how you dey?”, “what’s happening?”.
38. We have “The Monitoring Spirits”. The guys that don’t have anything in common with you, but they are so in awe of you, that they want to know every and anything going on in your life by monitoring all your posts.
39. The guys that ping you when you use the picture of your fine friend as your dp. Even girls alike…..and they haven’t pinged you in a while. Hmmmmmm!!
40. Stealing someone else’s pin from a friend’s phone without asking for the friend’s permission or a guy gives out a girl’s pin and tells the friend “don’t say its me”.
41. When people use “brb” and never actually come back. The thunder that will strike you is doing press up.
42. The ‘send me recharge card’ or ‘my bis is about to expire’ crew. You remember me only when your bis is about expiring. God is watching you.
43. When your pm and dp have nothing in common. No correlation@all. For example, pm says “God is a mighty God, I love you Jesus” and then you have a dp showing ukwu, boobs or a scandalously dressed lady. Angel Gabriel will soon slap you.
44. When someone repeatedly invites you to dull dormant redundant bbm groups.
45. Then we have the “guilty consciencers”. You put something on your pm and they feel you are refering to them and the start asking silly questions.
46. While checking out your pm, someone mistakenly pings you and immediately says “sorry mistake”. Aren’t you courtious enough just to use that as an opportunity to say hi or is pride?
47. When girls love all their girlfriends. “HBD Isioma, love you loads”. “My sweetheart and bestie Shade, love you to the moon and back”. “My sweetest friend Funmi, love u senseless”. Dem use love swear for una?
48. Some people use pictures of hot girls/guys that don’t know they exist and be famzing.
49. The rapture process of deleting someone codedly in d midnite or early mornin like 5am, like a week or so you notice they have deleted you te te! U didn’t knw
50. The annoying habit of posting “busy, please no pings” or “not in the mood, no pings”. Shatap and just switch off your phone.
Acknowledgment: To the over 20 BBM pals that contributed ideas to making this article a reality. Thank you.