Women ask stupid questions all the time and most are traps for men. These questions were discussed in our previous post, if you missed it, READ: 25 Stupid Questions That Women Ask–» http://t.co/efm9TiadN2.
Men also ask stupid questions, these questions aren’t only stupid but some are outright dumb. These questions are most times just get clarification about something, some to know their position in a woman’s life and others out of inquisitiveness.
Let’s delve into the deep end, below are a list of stupid questions men ask.
1. Do you love me?: Its ridiculous when a girl asks a man this question but when a guy asks this question then its just a sad. Women hide their feelings in their actions. They give codes, its your job to decode. If she loves you, and you are a smart man, you will know before she tells you. Ladies, if you love him and he has professed love to you first then say yes. If you love him and he hasn’t told you he loves you yet, don’t say yes, just say “I like you very much, is it love yet? We’ll find out soon enough”. If you don’t love him at all simply answer “Not yet but I like you and cherish you.”
2. Why haven’t you done this or that?: When a woman comes to you with a problem, don’t make her look daft by suggesting what she should have already thought of or done. Most times she’s looking for a listening ear because she already knows what to do. Simple answer is “Never though of it that way, thanks”.
3. What have I done or why are you angry/upset?: If he really doesn’t know what he did (men can be oblivious of their mistakes atimes) then please tell him. If he’s pretending (most times they are), then still tell him. Saying the regular “nothing, its fine” wouldn’t help you in the long run.
4. Why don’t you trust me?: In your mind you are thinking “Trust you? Trust you? How would I trust you when your skinny ass is always receiving calls outside, passwording your phone, busy at odd hours of the night, always on the phone. I can’t trust you ever”. But being the mature lady that you are, you wouldn’t tell him all that. Simply say “I don’t even trust myself, but I trust you to an extent though”.
5. Are you a virgin?: This is one of the most stupid questions a guy could ever ask a lady. Its not only stupid but damn right disrespectful. The smartest way to answer is “you have to wait till my wedding night to find out and that’s if you are the lucky man”.
6. Will you be the mother of my child?: Would you marry me is the right question here not would you ‘mother’ my kids. Does she look like a surrogate mother to you? When asked such question, just smile and say “Put a ring on it then we’ll negotiate child bearing terms”.
7. Are you single?: This is the dumbest question you could ask a girl. The reason being that every girl is either in a relationship, in a complicated relationship or in a relationship she’s not happy in. Don’t ask such question, you like her, just keep doing your thing and leave the rest for her to unravel. Answering this question with an “Its complicated, I’ll explain better some other time” is perfect.
8. You want some money?: Who doesn’t want some money? Even Alhaji Aliko Dangote the billionaire wants more money and you are asking a girl if she wants more money. Give her and ask if its enough..lol. Answer this question with a “Coming from you I will sincerely appreciate it”.
9. Are you enjoying it?: This is a question most guys ask when having sex. If asked and you don’t want to lie, just smile and moan louder. He’ll get the message.
10. Are you on your period?: He’s simply asking if you are available to have sex. If you don’t want anything sexual, don’t answer, just say “I might but if you want to see my soiled pad then be my guest”. He’ll back off.
11. What are you wearing in bed?: If he’s your boyfriend then tell him but if he’s just a distant friend or a toaster you don’t even admire then don’t tell him the truth especially if you sleep nude or topless (before you have his nutty mind racing through dirty waters). “I am wearing my night wear (night wear could be nude)” is the safest answer.
12. How many guys have you had sex with?: Honesty in answering this question could put you in serious trouble. He will forever see you as the promiscuous girl you were and it will affect his sex life with you because he will imagine all the manhoods that has gone through you. Never answer this question if you have gone pass 5 guys. Just say “That’s a personal question but all I can say is that I have had my fair share of guys and I know what I want and don’t want”.
13. Did you dream of me?: You answer no, then he’s disappointed. You answer yes when you did not then you lied. Simply answer “If I dream of you then I might never want to wake up again, so I don’t want to dream of you”. That will be the end of that question forever.
14. Can we have phone sex?: Dirty. Dirty. Dirty. Again if he’s your spouse, be my guest. If he’s someone not even close to that level just tell him that you don’t do phone sex, you find it strange and weird.
15. Can you snap a sexy picture of you?: The fact of the matter is that you should never send anyone a nude picture of you. Not even your boyfriend because he might become your ex one day and that will be disaster. Your husband? Well, he owns your body so what the heck. Simply answer “I don’t feel comfortable doing that”.
16. Are you good in bed?: You expect her to say no? If she says yes, then she’s dared to prove her prowess in bed. Simply answer “I have no idea, I am sure I am good enough for my man”.
17. What’s your best sex position?: Every sexually active person has a favorite position. If you don’t know yours then you are not sexually active enough..lol. Your spouse knows your favorite position so he doesn’t need to ask. A toaster you don’t like asks and your answer should be “I don’t have one” but if you like him then you can tell him the truth. 18. What’s your weak point?: Every lady has a major arousal spot. That place on her body that if anyone touches very well, she’ll loose her senses. That’s what he’s asking for. Like anyone in his right mind would tell someone their weakness. Jokingly tell him “If I tell you then I’m gonna have to kill you”.
19. Do you want to get married soon?: Every girl wants to get married soon. Don’t be deceived by the “I want to focus on my career for now” talk most come up with. No girl in her right mind will turn down the marriage proposal of someone who fits her dream husband criteria. The best answer to this question is “If its God’s time and God’s man then I’m ready”.
20. Have you had an abortion before?: If you have had more than one abortion then please don’t answer this question because it might be used against you later. Answer with “I have but it was a traumatic experience that I don’t want to talk about”. You dodge the “how many times?” follow up question.
21. Have you had a 3sum before?: Most heterosexual males have fantasized about having sex with 2 girls at the same time. He’s asking just to know if you have done it before and if you are open to trying it with him. Your answer should be “I don’t share”. End of story.
22. Do you like tall men?: Which girl doesn’t? When tall guys ask this question, its just them trying to show off. When short guys ask this question, its just them looking for trouble. If he’s tall, answer with the “duh, who doesn’t” line. If he’s short, answer with the “well, not really” line. Be sensitive, don’t hurt a short brother’s feelings..lol
23. Will you take me back if you caught me cheating?: That’s a man way of seeing if you would lower your standards to keep him. This question means “How desperate are you?”. When a man asks you such question, you answer should be “No I wouldn’t”.
24. Can we be friends?: This is a question asked by men before a relationship and after a relationship. Before a relationship when you both just met because he knows its from friendship it might graduate into a relationship. After a relationship when you guys are done, he’ll be like “can we still be friends”? If you guys ended it mutually, then just say yes. If he hurt you, please don’t shut the door on his face with a no reply because no one knows tomorrow. Just answer “let’s see how it goes”. Very safe answer.
25. Do you like me?: A question asked by guys to know their stand in a girl’s life (toastee). Obviously she likes you if not she wouldn’t be wasting her precious time with you (unless she’s after your money though). If you like him, answer with “yes, you seem to be a cool guy”. If you don’t like him, laugh and say “If I don’t like you, I won’t be here”. You didn’t lie because you avoided a yes or no question tactically.
26. Have you cum?: Every sexually active girl on earth has once being asked this question. If you haven’t cum, not to hurt his ego, don’t say no, just say “I am almost there”. Let’s hope you finally get there but if you don’t, keep saying you are almost there until everyone gets tired…lol.
Thanks to these amazing ladies who contributed in the completion of this article. Thank you to Sister Rita, Jay Adaeze, Oluwatoyin Oyewole and Leticia Peaches.