The society we live in has made it abominable for ladies to go after what they want especially when it has to do with a man. Its believed that when a lady is too easy to get, she’ll be easy to dump. Its now common knowledge that for a lady to be respected, she has to prove difficult (at least a little).
Imagine this scenario, Chidinma is the 24 year old chick and Chima is a 30 year old guy she likes in church. They are friends but Chidinma is the one harboring the feelings while Chima doesn’t see her in that light. After spending so much time together, Chidinma is expecting Chima to make the move but he’s totally oblivious of her in that relationship aspect. Chidinma then confides in Kemi her friend about her feelings for Chima. Kemi works in the same office with Chima and uses style to tell Chima that Kemi likes him so why isn’t he making any move. Chima then realizes he likes Chidinma but never made the move because he wasn’t sure she felt the same way and didn’t want any awkwardness in the friendship if she didn’t.
With this new understanding, Chima starts sweet talking Chidinma into a relationship but the same Chidinma that dreams about Chima starts playing hard to get. Imagine? Is she right or not? Yes and No.
Why a lady should play hard to get:
A man that picks N100k on the floor and a man that works hard for N20k, which will he value more? Obviously the N20k he worked hard for. When you make it easy for him to woo you, you reduce your value in his eyes (some men not all). You like him I know but don’t make it obvious. Don’t call him all the time, don’t meet up with him all the time, don’t always be available all the time. He asks you out (do guys still ask girls out these days?), don’t just say yes, say I’ll think about it. Don’t make it too easy for a man, make him work for you. Chidinma could not just fall on his lap because she likes him. She has every right to do small shakara and play hard to get.
Difference between Hard to get and impossible to get:
There is a difference between playing hard to get and playing impossible to get. When I say play hard to get, I don’t mean over doing it. Someone like me gets easily frustrated when a girl plays hard to get but if I like her, I’ll be persistent and do things to make her say yes. If I don’t like her like that, I’ll move on asap.If you like the guy, be hard to get not impossible to get. Chidinma should not prove too difficult to get because Chima might get the wrong message and chicken out. There should always be a balance, find that balance.
N.B: Whether you are hard to get or easy to get, it doesn’t determine the quality of your relationship.