I was in deep thought concerning why some relationships that started with so much love and affection end up with so much hatred. A couple that were so much in love with each other, the same couple that couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, the same couple that couldn’t wait to tie the knot and be called husband and wife, are the same people that can’t stand each other now. Have you ever asked yourself why couples even the ones still in love break up?
There is one answer to this question and that is selfishness. To simple to be true, right? Alright lets analyze it.
1. Why do people cheat: A man that has an amazing wife, a woman that makes him smile, a woman that respects him, a woman that supports his dreams, a woman that satisfies both his stomach and his libido. This same man with this seemingly perfect wife cheats on her with a lady not even girlfriend material. Why do you think he cheated on his wife? He cheated on her simply because he is selfish. He wants to eat his cake and have it, he wants to enjoy the satisfaction of having a wife at home and the pleasure of having a girlfriend outside. Remember this, people that cheat are selfish.
2. Why do people not trust their spouse: Let’s imagine a girl is dating a guy that was heartbroken by his ex, he doesn’t get over that heartache and carries it over to his new relationship. He doesn’t trust his new girlfriend not because she is not trustworthy but because he is too selfish to let go of the past and that selfishness is affecting his current relationship. Trust is the super glue that binds any relationship together and when one partner doesn’t trust the other. It not only affects the one with the trust issues, it also affect the one not trusted. You hear statements like “I don’t know what I have to do to make my boyfriend trust me even when I’m being faithful to him”.
3. Why do people not forgive: Forgiveness after an offense has been committed to someone is one of the most difficult things to do especially when the culprit is your spouse. Unforgiveness is a sign of selfishness. He hurt me, she lied to me, she cheated on me. Its always about me, me and me. Selfish people find it difficult to forgive because they feel they either have to repay the person in their own coin or forgiving makes them look weak. Its actually the other way round, only strong and selfless people can forgive wholeheartedly.
4. Why do people not see things from other’s point of view: It is very easy to get wrapped up in our own views of the world or a situation or an incident, believing that what we ourselves see, what we fell, what we think, and how we react must be universally true. It’s not. Seeing things from other people’s point of view has a way of helping you see the true unbiased state of any situation. Seeing things from only your point of view is a sign of immaturity and selfishness. Learn to see things from other’s point of view because you cannot be right all the time.
5. Why do people treat other’s badly: Have you ever noticed that people with bad behavior are very selfish people. All they think about is themselves. “I am not going to apologize because I don’t feel I am wrong”. “I am not going to say thank you”. Even those that treat their spouse’s badly are selfish because if they really genuinely care about the feelings of their spouse, they will make sure they do things to make them happy, special and feel loved.
In other words, the 5 reasons relationships breakup is as a result of:
We as humans are born with the “I mentality”, but as soon as you enter a relationship, you have give up the “I’s” for an “Us”. Selfish individuals in relationships never go far, selfless couples go all the way.