There are many instructions for men pertaining to marriage but there is one that stands and that is LOVE.
Ephesians 5:25 says “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it”. This is the God kind of love, the same love that made God give up His only begotten son to die for our sins. This is the forgiving, tolerating, selfless, accommodating kind of love.
When a man loves his wife, it is expressed in two ways, namely:
1. In Words: The words that come out of a husband to his wife will always make or mar her self confidence and determine the longevity and enjoyability of their relationship. If the man always praises his wife’s cooking, her support, her respect for him, kindness she shows, she would do everything to make sure those appetizing words don’t stop. If the words of the husband are always words of condemnation and criticism, it affects her and puts her on the defensive. Not only should a man tell his wife how he loves her every now and then but he must also express his love for her by consciously ignoring her negative unattractive qualities like though they don’t exist and amplifying the positive things about her like they only exist.
He must always tell her how much he loves her, how much she means to him, how incomplete he is without her and mean it when he says it. He should always appreciate her cooking, how much he loves the way she does certain things, even how good she is in bed.
If you love her, tell her. Women know it but they just want to hear it often, indulge her. Words are powerful, your love for her is like a planted seed, but the words you say to her are like watering that seed for a bountiful harvest.
2. Actions and Attitude: As explained, words are like watering the seed but actions are the sunlight while attitude is the air. No matter how much you tell her you love her and you don’t show it, your words are not worth a kobo. Actions speak louder than words is a popular saying. Love just said and not expressed is like a china phone that pings, it is still fake.
When a man loves his wife, he loves her unconditionally, even more than himself. If you see a man that has a car and his wife is entering okada and bus to work then that man’s love for his wife is not selfless. When a man loves his wife, his actions will show it, he buys her a car even before he gets one for himself. If a man claims to love his wife, he should prove it by his actions and the steps he takes.
Express your love for her, look out for her welfare, give her money to take care of herself even without her asking, notice new things about her, buy gifts for her, take her out on dates. In essence, cherish, nourish and ravish her with your love. Don’t criticize or ridicule her, encourage and motivate her to be the best God has destined her to be. There is not shortcut, if you love your wife demonstrate it because love is not love until it is expressed.
In conclusion, if you love someone you will automatically respect the person. If you love your wife, respect for her follows naturally.
“Marriage Covenant” by Pastor Faith A. Oyedepo (1988).